The me that is inside.

Dargon Con 2009

2009-08-23T05:57:50Z

So yeah, going to Dragon Con....minus the hubby this year. That's a first, no best friend Jimmy either, also a first. This year it is an all girl trip, it should hold some very interesting moments. For those who don't know what this event is heres a link: www.dragoncon.org/index.php .

Basicly it is a 4 day party with 40,000 or so of your closest friends (or at the very least people who like what you like). There are stars, Q & A sessions, writing and costuming workshops, authors, gaming, shopping, parties and best of all - people dressed as just about anything you can think of. I have so many photos of the past years that I've gone that I could fill up 10 memory cards (small sample can be found in my pics on myspace here: viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm)

Anime galor, along with Buffy, True Blood and all the writers you could possibly want, what more could a dork like me ask for? I start getting really excited right about now, it is time for my list writing and outfit planning!

I guess this is my hat tip to spikesvampbaby and slash_scion who will be heading out with me for yet another year. I wish I knew more Lj users that were going, that would make the trip even more memorable!

So anyway 11 days and counting...and I can't wait!

A small rant on the lack of K-Pop fans in North Carolina (that I know of)

2009-05-12T04:53:16Z

Ok, so I live in a small city. I get that. All I am asking for is someone, ANYONE, (other than my niece) who likes what I like. At my age it is really hard to find others who will have an open enough mind to give my interests a chance, and living where I do it seems like I am all alone. I know that K-Pop is an acquired taste, along with J-Rock and Anime. Damn it though, it gets so frustrating to want to talk about this stuff and not to have anyone to do it with. I have two friends on Lj, both related to me, and one is not into my scene at all (totally not her fault, you like what you like). They tell me it should be easier to make friends on here, and I guess it should. I just can't for some reason, I have tried. So I am left feeling like I have no one to talk to about this stuff.

I want to talk about the drama I just watched or the new MV I just saw, I want to hear opinions on this new bit of info or this new blog post. I want to be able to name a person or song and someone else say "yeah, I know who you mean". I feel like I am so isolated sometimes. No one cares here where I live, and it sucks.

I guess I am just whining, but damn it I am sick of feeling like I am the only one. I know that it is a small fandom compared to others but it still sucks to feel like a loner. I need a life, I know. I am at the age where I can do as I please, go where I want, buy what I want. Yet what good is that without a friend to share it with?

I know I should just suck it up, but it gets hard at times to just ignore that fact that I am alone 90% of the time, at last as far as my intrests go.

and this in no way reflects on spikesvampbaby or slash_scion

Do you have to be a fangirl if you're just a fan?

2009-01-23T04:47:25Z

Those who are on my list cause I read your writing feel free to look over or read at will:

I will admit it, I am a FAN. I listen to the music, buy the CD's, watch the interviews and TV shows.

I await new songs with bated breath, I get a rush when they win awards, I am a FAN. But am I a fangirl? I drool like the rest when we get a glimpse of a bit of skin that was not shown before, and yell when they make their bows and smile, laugh out loud when they get a bit silly, yes still a FAN. But am I fangirl?

    I ask this because, you see, I don't care if they have girl friends. I am too old to give a crap, and well, like any fan has a chance anyway (if you think you do, by all means keep the dream alive, it is your right, and who knows?). I don't care if "blah blah" insluted "blah blah"; they don't, so why should I? I don't care who knew who before and why they don't speak now, that's just more fule for the fire that is fan-wars. I don't care what your sexual preference is, if you're happy so be it. I say go for it in the name of love, or at the very least money.

     I do read gossip, but take it with a grain of salt. Being from the US makes it hard to get good information so you have to take the good with the bad. No news is NOT good news when your in a different country, sometimes you take what you can get.

     I make light and "squeal", (and yes I really am kinda old for that, but it's all in fun) and I will be the first to tell you I read fic often. I watch dramas and cry and still think that those actors (Japanese and Korean) are better than some of ours.

So do I think I am a fangirl? No, I don't think I have it in me to be a pure fangirl. I think I will leave that to those who have younger minds and bigger dreams. Yet, I think I will always be a fan.

I am alive and so is this Journal.

2009-01-06T01:40:24Z

Just a wave and a nod to let others (not so very many I suppose) that I am still alive. I am still reading and commenting, and breathing I guess.

A little heads up to any and all who stray outside fandom lines. My bestie (gag worthy term, I know) slash_scion</lj> has written some freakin' fab FOB fics. She really is a great writer, I wish more people would read her stuff, so give it a try if you like Fall Out Boy.

K-pop and J-rock and my view.

2008-07-31T02:09:45Z

Yeah, I listen to K-pop. No, I don't speak Korean. Yeah, I listen to J-rock. No, I don't speak Japanese. I like what I like.......and I just happen to be an utter fail at speaking languages, unless you count cussing...that I can do in MANY languages. So here are my thoughts on music.....

     I have no problem with American music, I grew up listening to many different types. I can go from the 1940's till today and still know the songs of the times. I just simply like music from other countries too. I think it started with anime for me, way back (*snort*) in the late 80's when anime was not a huge "head 'splody" fandom. I loved the music that played behind the action, it was so different from what you got here at that point in time. As an avid anime watcher now, the music has changed somewhat, but is no less awe inspiring as it was for me then.
      From those anime, I began to look for bands...Japanese at first. I found so many that I liked, and now I have new ones and old ones that I love to listen to, even if I have to look up translations after a while. Japanese music just seems to have a beat (much like a heartbeat) that makes me stop and listen.
       I branched out into Korean music next, and found that I liked it just as much. I love the flow of Korean in a song, the language has its own melody anyway, so the songs are always so beautiful (yes, even the rap). I found bands and solo singers that made my heart melt and smile at the same time, that is a huge feat in itself.  I of course, have favorites that I always come back to, but I enjoy finding new things as I go along.

      I have had people ask "why?" if I don't understand, why do I listen? I guess it's because you don't have to know the words to love a song. I do look up translations when I find a song I like, but thats after I have heard it and fell in love.  Then and only then do I feel the need to find out what the words mean, but only because I want a better understanding of  a song I enjoy.

I guess it just comes down to this for me......  music is music, no matter what language the words are in.

I really suck at making posts.

2008-07-27T19:08:22Z

This post has no real meaning, so unless you're really bored (or have a strange urge to hear about some random persons life) you can really just ignore this, most people do...lol. It runs the gambit for randomness...from K-pop to Anime, from a rant on aging to conventions...all at alarming speed. BTW, in reading over this...I am really not that ancient, but 33 seems to be getting there fast.

     So anyway, Dragon*Con is a little over a month away. I find it hard to believe it is so close! I really hope this year goes as well as last, we all had such a good time. I know that everyone is starting to feel the excitement along with me, we are really pumped! (BTW, if there is anyone who does happen to read this, and you don't know what Dragon*Con is, let me know so I can fill your head with awesomeness...lol)

     On another note, really loving the Korean music scene right now. I have a lot of respect for certain bands over there, the ones who are having to deal with a lot of crap (SuJu). I really won't go into it all, but suffice to say; keep your head up boys. I hope to be able to see some of my faves live one day...who knows?

      Found some really kick ass anime lately, kinda wish I had more people to talk with about it. I guess that's impossible what with my "advanced" age and all *snort*. It sucks to be getting old, people want me to grow up. I don't want to. I am a responsible adult, I have a job I worked hard for, I own my home and my car, I have a great husband and a terrific (if not really hyper) kid. Why do I have to grow up? I like anime and fanfic, I love going to conventions and listing to music from other country's. I enjoy acting stupid on occasion and laughing till I cry. I like ghosts and paranormal activity, taking pics in old grave yards and old houses. I love being open minded and young hearted. I just wish others loved me for it too.

      It is really hard to make new friends at my age (see earlier rant), the ones my age are too old to care about the things I enjoy and the younger ones don't want to be friends with someone older than them. I guess I don't really know how to go about trying ( my fault I know), the most I know how to do is comment, and I do comment...not enough of a effort huh? Ahhh, whats a mid-30's woman with the heart (and sometimes brain) of a teenage girl to do? *Ha!* It gets rather lonely at times though, I had thought I was too old for that?

       Well, to any and all...I hope life has been kind to you this past few months, and continues to be in the future. Smile out there, sometimes it will make all the difference in the world.

On Dragon*Con and other non-important things...

2008-04-15T11:46:52Z

So the list is really filling out for Dragon*Con, and a lot earlier too! I was surprised that a Torchwood member was announced, and after I finished squeeing in my head, I began to hope that the rest would show.

So I really don't think I am going to lose the weight I need to lose to make my costumes look right this year. I have hope, but it seems like a lost cause. I mean a skinny, busty woman (Bleach) is one thing, but a really skinny male (L from Death Note) might be a bit hard. Oh, well all I can do it try I guess. I am still as excited as before, but it seems to have lost

its gloss for right now. Due to several things, one being that I need a life...lol.

I tried for another fic, I got about a page worth, I gave up. I just can't seem to write anything I am happy with. It was so easy for me to write when I was young, now its like pulling teeth. I have so many plot bunnies, really good ones....but they all seem to sound wrong when I write them. So I guess I will keep reading, hell I have been reading fic for years, why try writing now huh? So off I go, and lets hope all the Torchwood cast show, or at least more Buffy people.

I changed the look of my LJ, now shut up Scon.

2007-08-05T15:46:20Z

Just for you Scion, I hate it BTW. Just kidding, I like it just fine.

Going to Dragon*Con, anyone else?

2007-07-16T02:47:11Z

So I have our tickets for D*C, and I really am hoping all goes well for me for the next month so I can enjoy my first time there. But now I am wondering, is anyone else out there going? James and Juliette are both confirmed, and I was so hoping to meet other fans, as the fan base here is lacking in a huge way......

I am so excited, this my first D*C and only my second convention. I have been checking the site every day for updates like a big spaz. Everything I have read about other peoples experiences makes me just more hyper. It sounds like its a trip and a half, and the people who go every year seem so friendly. I guess I just want to connect with other fans, and discuss the shows, get others input. I only have two people here to do that with, and well, we kinda know what WE think by now *g*.

My cats lfe is more exciting than mine

2007-04-20T23:40:39Z

Just some random life things below, feel free to ignore.

So, still trying to come up with money for the hotel room for the girl trip. Stupid Booster Bash people, if the losers would refund the money they frauded me out of this would never have been a problem. I want to make this "make-up" trip good for them but its damn hard. I live for my fanfic time, lol.

I guess that between work and home, my life is a tad bit, well, borning. I have decided to attend more conventions though, I found some really aforable ones close to home. I am excited about that.

Second time posting this, I hope it works

2007-04-11T03:45:46Z

Ok, I am just here to squee over some fic so feel free to ignore this if ya want to..lol

I found a wonderful Blood Ties/Buffy crossover by brat42 called Till the End of Time, I wish I could link but I soo suck at this, but I am learning. Also halloweenxbones has four chapters up of her MCR band fic, I Caught Fire, she is a new writer but VERY talented.

I wish I could toss out the rest I am reading, but I don't want to make anyone mad (tee hee, pimpin' without permission). If I comment you, then you are the ones I am talking about. I hope that as it is I don't make these two upset. Thats all for now, back to reading....

I really need to write in this more.....

2007-04-09T22:23:43Z

Wow, it has been some time, I really need to write more often. I just get so caught up in all the yummy fic's and then BAM it's 2 in the morning and I forget to write. I have been reading some simply yummy fic's in a couple of fandoms, and if I left a comment to you (which I always do) you all know how wonderful your work is.halloweenxbonesjust posted a fantastic Gerard/Frank one-shot, I don't read band fic alot (as she well knows) but its a yummy bit of slashtastic porn. I wish I could pimp her in the right way, her being new to fic and all, because she really is a good writer.

I haven't been on the site in a day or so, so now I have to play catch up with all the fic's I am reading.

On a different note, I really want to write fic...but I am a BIG chicken. I have so many plot bunnies, and I CAN write, I have just never done fan fic. I have been told (thank you Kremit and Woodgie-Woo) that I should just get out there and do it, that I might be better at it than I think. People have heard my ideas and let me know they are good ones, but I am a big baby when it comes to new areas like that. I guess that it is just one of those things.

On the book front, Jacob and I have lots of new ideas, and some deaths have been planed. We talked last week at leangth about the fact that someone needed to die, it was a hard decision, we love all of the characters so much.

That's all for now, I will be writing more in time, sooner this time though...lol

Sad about Flanvention

2006-11-29T17:49:52Z

Ok, so we all got the news that Flan might be canceled, and that saddens me to no end. Those poor people, they are soooo upset(with good reason)!!! I was not going to Flan, but now I am scared about our tickets to Booster Bash II. I really can't lose that money, and I can't cancel, I am so worried. I hope the Booster Event people pull this outta their ass (no other way to say that folks), cause it will be the end for them if they can't. Damn-it, I hate this happened, those people really spent a lot of hard earned money to go to this convention, to see it all go to hell is sickening.

Another Monday, another Ryans lunch

2006-09-18T20:58:01Z

So today I went to lunch with my lil' bro Jacob, to work on our book. We got tons done! It surprises me how much we seem to get done at Ryan's (its a steak-house/buffet). I blame the great sweet tea, he says food makes him get more ideas,lol!! I think we now have enough to go forward into the first chapter, maybe 2 if I can stretch some of the scenes. I am really excited, we have so many great ideas and characters. I think we might just have something that will sell. Here's to hoping so!!!!!

Could I get more boring?

2006-09-17T16:56:10Z

So, I have been reading fanfic, and found out one of my faves is nominated at Spuffy Awards. I voted, and I hope she wins. I have also been bouncing back and forth to Booster Entertainment, hoping for some more news or guest anouncments, but none so far. I really can't wait till June, I am sooo excited to be going to Booster Bash II, and who could blame me? I mean Alexis Denisof? Juliett Landau? Come on, with those first 2 guests I was hooked!!!!!

Not too much today

2006-09-12T18:09:13Z

Today was a very slow day at work, I really need the money though to go to the Booster Bash II. I am spending my time now on here reading some of the best fanfic, thats realy the only reason I got this account. Ok that sounds sorta stalkerish, but I promise its not. I just want to review...lol. I would love to ad all the authors I am reading as friends so I can get my "fix" as needed, but I have only added one. I might add more later, but I really don't know if I should ask first or not. I only added the one I have because I can't get enough of her writing. She is really a wonderful writer!!!!

My first

2006-09-11T21:59:36Z

Well, this my first post. I am going to see how well I can keep this up, I have a feeling I will not be posting as much as I should. I tend to post rather odd musings, and random thoughts on things that really mean nothing. But thats just me. Anyway, I hope someone finds me amusing, or I make someone smile when their day has been nothing but bad. Thats really all I care about,

Lurve and warm wishes.....